O.k......I stayed away longer than I thought I would. Do you want the story? Well you gonna get it.
My "plan" was to start blogging as soon as school started...which for us Floridians was August 16th. The first day of school went great...great teachers, classes, etc. Second day went just as good as the first! I... (well.. we meaning my husband and I) decided t-o-g-e-t-h-e-r that it was finally... after 16 years of work time for me to STOP...work that is! I rarely in those 16 years ever worked full time...but 1/2 somehow feels the same? So freedom from work...time to clean closets...and apparently time to clean some HEARTS I was unaware of.
On the third day of school...my dad (who I must preface by saying lives 1/2mile away from us- with my mom and they are the kind of "older" parents who don't seem "old" always getting comments like..."No way you can't be that old"...they are very close to us and our children -intricate parts of our daily lives...very loved and cherished..accept in those very real moments of parent to daughter...when I feel 12 again and want to tell them to mind their business...it wouldn't be the same without those moments...then they would just be really great older friends.) O.K. that was my "preface" to the fact that my dad went in for a routine cath. to check his heart. After only 20 minutes into surgery the Doc. called us into the "family waiting room"...which we knew could not be good since everyone else got their news right in the "main waiting room."
He was completely blocked...100% here 90% there ....they had to go in 2x and clear him out...quintuple bypass-major stuff.
We had "those" talks in the days leading to the surgery..the kind you see in movies, read about in books, and hope you get the chance to have but hope you don't ever have to have. The reality of our mortality.
My dad who loves Jesus kept saying...if I don't make it...don't be jealous...I will be in a much better place than you! Oh how true...but sooooo hard to think about he is strength to me....to us. He has defined my view of father which has formed my unconscious way of relating to God as father...faithful, loyal, strong, loving, safe, secure, present....
He is home in week 2 of recovery and doing well...thank you Jesus...and an awesome surgical team. He has lost weight and some uuumph but no doubt will be telling me what to do soon:)
The reality of our mortality can do nothing but change a heart. It softens it, cleans it out, and forms it more into the likeness of our Heavenly Father. I am soooo grateful. So grateful that what seemed like an impossibility for these surgeons... was nothing for Jesus...I am so grateful...my heart was in a place where it needed softening (in many areas), it needed to be cleaned out of some resentment in reaction to this world and some of the people in it, and it needed a good dose of forming into what I hope is a greater likeness to my Heavenly Father...always in process friends, always in process...So all of that to say...no pictures today...just a heart that has been changed...and a friend who has decided she has had a change of heart about this blog...I almost decided to stop...but am going to keep going. I have lots to share with whoever decides to read it...I can promise only this... it is from the heart....